P. S. Easter?

I was asked this week, "Mrs. Kathy, what comes after Easter?  I mean, the Santa celebration is well over, the New Year has passed, the Easter bunny has hopped off and we've celebrated Jesus so what's next."  Indeed, I thought, what is next?

This student's words strike me today and they strike me hard.  "We've celebrated Jesus so what's next?"  This brings so many questions to my mind....have I celebrated Jesus?  And why is this question in the past tense?  Shouldn't I/we be in the process of always celebrating Jesus?  Of course, yes, is the answer to this pondering.  But I daresay that my week since Easter Sunday has been less than a full celebration of who this Messiah truly is....the I AM.

So I asked myself today, what difference does Easter make in my life?  Really, what day-to-day difference does it make?  The disciples found themselves in a similar situation as they gathered eight days after their Jesus had been killed and then ressurected.  Some believed and some had a hard time believing the astounding story being told.  Today I've looked at several verses in John that are guiding my thoughts.

26 Eight days later, his disciples were again in the room. This time Thomas was with them. Jesus came through the locked doors, stood among them, and said, “Peace to you.”
27 Then he focused his attention on Thomas. “Take your finger and examine my hands. Take your hand and stick it in my side. Don’t be unbelieving. Believe.”
28 Thomas said, “My Master! My God!”
29 Jesus said, “So, you believe because you’ve seen with your own eyes. Even better blessings are in store for those who believe without seeing.” John 20:26-31The Message

And then only a few verses later another insightful conversation occurs:

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.  John 21:15-17

So the first answer to my question, what difference does Easter make, is life and hope.  As Thomas discovered, the hope of life forever with no pain, death defeated and absolute Joy.  Of course...Hallelujah!  But inasmuch as I feel joy in this Hope I also feel unsettled.  My spirit becomes restless as I wait on earth for my Hope to come for I often question what I have experienced and what life brings.

And then Jesus appears again to me as He did to his disciples.  On the beach and after cooking breakfast for the disciples, his closest friends, He probes and asks questions of great meaning.  Do you love me more than these?  Feed my lambs.  Do you truly love me?  Take care of my sheep.  Do you love me?  Feed my sheep.   According to John these were some of Jesus' last words to the disciples ...and to me....and to you.  Could these last words of Jesus be the essence of Easter and my purpose?

Kathy, Enrique, Heather, Jose, Esther, Moses, Jack, Samuel, Mary, Yi Sun, Liza, Eric, Pierre... ...do....you...love....me?  Do you love me more than these?  Do you love me more than your friends or more than your occupation and success, more than your life?  Then feed my lambs, take care of  my sheep and feed my sheep.

I can act naive and dense and close my eyes and heart to the sheep and lambs in my world....and I do all too often.  I act as though I'm confused as to who He is referring, but I know.  Just as surely as Thomas felt the the nail marks in His hands, I know.  He is referring to my neighborhood, my office, the people I'm uncomfortable around, the people from different countries, with different beliefs.  He's referring to the people I see everyday who have no Hope.

The P. S. of Easter is...hope, love AND to be His witnesses. 'For one of these must become a witness with us of his resurrection.' Acts 1:22b  A witness?  Yes, simply sharing my journey, my story, my life.  Simply sharing what I have seen, what I have experienced, what I have lived, what questions I wrestle with still.  That is the only witness I have, don't you agree?  Are you called to be a witness this P.S Easter day?

If I can't accept my duty to feed the sheep then I cannot answer the question, Do you love me?  Do you love me more than these?

Hallelujah Chorus

Another Easter Sunday is here!  Hallelujah, He is risen!  We have hope and a future!  As I sit here this morning, I'm having to force myself to stay in this moment and repeat the words, Hallelujah He is risen.  For in my life this Easter weekend there is much beautiful distraction...my family is in town, there are pictures to be made, food to be cooked, stories to be told, laughter to consume me, dresses and shirts to iron and dishes to wash.  These beautiful distractions of life give me great pleasure and joy but as this Easter Day wears on I can sense that the chorus of Hallelujah may become more faint.  Let it not be so, Lord.

The story of Easter morning from Luke 24 is one I never tire of reading.  There is so much drama and joy and unexpectedness.  The women walking to the tomb to anoint His body with spices and perfumes, the stone rolled away, the shock, the two men in clothes that gleamed like lightening, the women returning to the disciples to share the shock of their discovery, Peter racing back to see for himself.  And on the same day, two friends walking to Emmaus have an encounter, "were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?"Luke 24:32

33 They got up and returned at once to Jerusalem. There they found the Eleven and those with them, assembled together and saying, “It is true! The Lord has risen and has appeared to Simon.” Then the two told what had happened on the way, and how Jesus was recognized by them when he broke the bread.
While they were still talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.”
They were startled and frightened, thinking they saw a ghost. He said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds?  Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have.”
When he had said this, he showed them his hands and feet.  And while they still did not believe it because of joy and amazement, he asked them, “Do you have anything here to eat?” They gave him a piece of broiled fish, and he took it and ate it in their presence.
He said to them, “This is what I told you while I was still with you: Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms.”
Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures. Luke 24:33-45

We can well imagine how exciting and disturbing all these happenings had to have been for these men and women. For the last three years, their lives had been dedicated to this Teacher. And inasmuch as they traveled with Him, listened to Him and saw His miracles, the reality seemed to become too, too much to believe on that morning of all mornings.  Doubts, discussions, fear, joy and amazement were all words used to describe their emotions.  I wonder if the disciples were simply in information overload or in shock!  It had to be mind-blowing for them.  As they were discussing the events surely their thoughts ran to what do we do next?  What do we do now?  What will happen next?  And beautifully enough, the Savior then appears before them to instruct and guide them to open their minds so that they could understand the next step, the next hour, the next day.

These words from the scripture also describe my emotions.  I've experienced Easter morning.  It is a time of joy and amazement.  Hallelujah, Christ is risen!  But now, right now the big event is over.  The Easter service is over, the Easter Bunny has appeared and lunch is finished.  I see tail-lights looking back at me...now its just me.....and I realize that all I really want is to go back and listen for the Hallelujah chorus.  I want to experience Easter like the disciples.  It was so healing for them to discuss all that they had seen and witnessed.  It was spiritually healthy for them to question and wonder and ponder the events of the day.  They were vulnerable enough with each other to talk about the hard issues of the day.  Can't we do the same?  Have we looked at Easter, I mean, really looked at it?  And asked what is next in my life?  What is my next step?  What do I do with this Easter news? Do I treat today as just another beautiful Sunday or do I let it change me?  Does this Easter Day become Easter living?  Is today the day I let go of my pain, my heartache and accept, finally accept His work on my behalf?   And because of that work....finally accept His unconditional love, joy and peace?  For it is the very work of His cross that gives me hope.  Doesn't my heart burn within me when I completely let Him have all of me?

For today and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow....don't let the Hallelujah fade from my mind and heart, Lord.  Let me live and shout it over and over again to those who have yet to learn the words.

P.S. Personal note: Happy Birthday Mama!  

Let's Go To A Parade!

When I was a little girl one of the great joys of Thanksgiving morning was watching the Macy's Day Parade.  I can remember waking up and immediately running to tune in and watch it with my parents (on one our three tv channels)!  I watched the dancing, the crazy balloons, the characters of all sorts! Of course, at the same time there was cooking to be done so we watched and cooked and prepared for the big family celebration to come.  But always, always the kitchen action stopped as the parade neared its end for we all had anticipated the main event...Santa Claus!  As a little girl it thrilled me to see him arrive for it meant that soon, very soon Christmas was coming.  And for a child there was no greater joy.

I've realized that after being in the desert of Lent for 40 days I am ready for a parade!  And, it strikes me that we have that opportunity this week.  This parade also has a great cast of characters and it too has a main event at its end.  Shall we take a peek at this historic parade?  We can certainly read the story and pull important facts from it but instead I suggest we find ourselves in it!  I know God gave us His word to teach us, certainly.  But I also believe that the Word is living which means I am to live inside it.  I am to do more than READ the words, I am to find myself WITHIN the words for that is when and where my own transformation will come.  And yes, I really want to be transformed to be more like Him.

So, shall we go find ourselves?  Want to go to a parade?

As he [Jesus] approached Bethphage and Bethany at the hill called the Mount of Olives, he sent two of his disciples, saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and as you enter it, you will find a colt tied there, which no one has ever ridden. Untie it and bring it here. If anyone asks you, ‘Why are you untying it?’ say, ‘The Lord needs it.’”
Those who were sent ahead went and found it just as he had told them. As they were untying the colt, its owners asked them, “Why are you untying the colt?”
They replied, “The Lord needs it.”
They brought it to Jesus, threw their cloaks on the colt and put Jesus on it. As he went along, people spread their cloaks on the road.
When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen:
“Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!"
“Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”
Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!”
“I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” Luke 19:28-48

There is quite a cast of characters here.  I know that on any given day I could be anyone one of these people or on really crazy days I may become all of them!  Oh my!
But, in THIS week, this holy week with which of these people do I have kinship?  Which of these characters do I hope to become in God's transformation of me?

Cast:
•those who GO...go to the village...you will find a colt...bring it...the Lord needs it
•ShirtOffMyBack...those who give their closest possessions to honor Him
•Expressive...those who sing loudly...Hallelujah!
•Pillars...those who are the most studied and knowledgeable, visible church goers, following a God of rules and truly believing they know best
•StoneAgers...those who cry out from a lowly, dusty place

As I look at this list, I confess to you that it scares me because I can relate to all the cast but am concerned that my life only lives one...as a pillar.  I get so stuck in my head, my rules, my way, my understanding that I miss the real event.  I miss the Who.  For truly, the King rides in at the end of the parade.

Also, I desire to be a Goer but usually stop myself from selling out totally.  It scares me to go into situations where I'm uncomfortable.  I also desire to be the ShirtOffMyBack but like my own comforts too. What if I give more and then don't have enough for me? The Expressive makes me smile for I love praise music and I love to sing in my car!  But when life gets tough the music of Hallelujah fades from my mouth.  The Pillars...more often that I care to admit...are me.  But my desire, my true, so excited heart's desire is to be a StoneAger!  I want to cry out from my little place in the world.  I want the dust around me to kick up as I shout and cry out for Him..."even if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out."

This Holy week parade is a glorious one!  Don't miss out!  Find yourself in this cast and don't be afraid to really look closely at your life - it's why we were in the desert 40 days.  We've got to keep looking for ourselves IN HIM so that He can transform our character! The parade is about to start!

Are We There Yet?

Do you take long road trips?  There is really nothing quite like a road trip.  It offers us great opportunity to see the countryside and all sorts of local sites.  It also is quite an opportunity for family bonding or something like bonding!  I can remember long ago road trips with my parents.  My mama's family is from Thomasville, Georgia and we would take an annual trip to visit.  Now living in Jackson, Mississippi this created a nice long drive for our family.  For years, we stopped at the same restaurant for breakfast as my dad insisted we leave before sunrise.  I still remember it after 40 years; you could play the jukebox from your booth!  This was a very high-tech situation!  And I remember my sister losing her shoes because either she or our brother threw them out the window at some point on the trip - this was not a happy outcome.  But I REALLY remember that my daddy would smoke his pipe while we were driving along...."it's OK," he would say.  "My window is cracked [slightly open] so the smoke is flowing right out."  Ummm, not so much.  But the repeating words from my childhood days and those from my own children were always, "Are we there yet?"  Over and over, Are we there yet?

This Lent season I feel those words forming, "Are we there yet, Lord?"  Am I learning what you have for me during these 40 days?  When will this period be over?  I want to hurry the process.  But as we all know...many situations will not be hurried.

Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, 2where for forty days he was tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them he was hungry.
3The devil said to him, “If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread.”
Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone.’”Luke 4:1-3

At the end of forty days of temptation we read of an exchange between Jesus and the devil.  The Bible says that Jesus was tempted for forty days but yet we only read of three specific temptations.  Could it be that these three temptations represent all temptation in our lives? The first temptation we read about is the temptation of basic need.  In this reading, Jesus was tempted with bread. After forty days with no food, He had to have been so very hungry.  But yet, He knew there was more to living than bread itself.

I have come to believe that the mention of bread in these verses may represent more than physical food.  Is it possible that Jesus was referring to the physical needs and wants of our lives?  This 'bread' may include all those basic things I need to survive...food, water, shelter...for without these I quickly come to the end of myself.  True, but in fact, for we humans the basics of life have become more than basic.  My basic need to survive has been redefined and now includes abundance, more, more and more.  Do I stop at what I need or do I keep going to what I want and desire?  Are my wants out-living my true needs?

Jesus must have been starving, literally starving.  And yet, he refused to eat.  For He knew, 'man shall not live on bread alone.'  There is so much more to real living.  Many of us are not starving physically this Lent.  But are we starving spiritually when we don't even know it?  Is that our place of temptation?  Is there a place of great abundance in me that hides the place of great starvation?  Do we find ourselves in a place of plenty and still wanting more?  Do we try to live on bread alone?

C. S. Lewis offers us this word from Mere Christianity:

"The terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self: all your wishes and precautions, to Christ.  But it is far easier than what we are all trying to do instead.  For what we are trying to do is to remain 'ourselves,' to keep personal happiness our great aim, and yet at the same time to be 'good.' We are all trying to let our mind and heart go their own way: centered on money or pleasure or ambition, and hoping, in spite of this, to behave honestly and chastely and humbly.  And that is exactly what Christ warned us you could not do."

So let's do a new thing.  Let's trust that what Jesus says is true. God wants to do a new thing in us.  Look for it, see it!  He is making a way for us through the desert and providing streams for us.

“Forget the former things;

    do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

    and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:18-19

We cannot live by the bread of our plenty!  And until we realize this simple but great truth we will continuously and agonizingly be asking, "Are we there yet?"

Dear Diary: Real Life

Dear Diary: today finds me at my favorite place...the beach.  Yes, I am at the water and thank you for meeting me here.  I'm bundled up and sitting in my beach chair.  The wind is whistling about and rustling my papers, tangling my hair and it is glorious.  The beach is empty except for me and my guy.  The waves are unceasing but the water is calm.  It is 68º with nary a cloud in sight. And I feel tears rolling down my cheeks.  I am so joyful in this place. It is the place of creation... where water meets land in a divine way.  It is His place and He's let it be a part of my spirit.  

I am pondering Lent today.  We have walked a Lent journey for 4 weeks.  I'm wondering what I have learned.  Has anything changed in me?  Has what I "gave up for Lent" made a difference in my life?  Has it drawn me closer to knowing God?  And honestly, I'm a bit tired of writing in metaphor, reading the Bible in metaphor and hearing from God in metaphor.  I want real words and advice.  I want real steps to knowing this King.  Or so I think.  But really....can I handle the real words?...the Truth.  The truth of who I really am?

Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’So he divided his property between them.
“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

“Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’
“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’
“‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.   (Luke 15 selected verses)

Perhaps the young son wanted REAL LIFE too.  Perhaps his father's words to him became mundane and metaphorical.  Perhaps he left home to find life on his own terms.  Perhaps his brother stayed to live by the rules and expectations.  Perhaps this brother was also seeking to find REAL LIFE.  Perhaps they too felt they needed real words and real actions to live life fully.  And that's exactly what the Father gave them.  Gives us.  Freedom to ask questions and seek Him.  For I too have left and gone into the far country and tried to find my own way.  I've also stayed home and become bitter and judgmental and jealous.  Aren't we all both of the sons in some ways and on some days??

Could Lent be the time in our lives that God runs off the porch to welcome us home and assure us of our place with Him?  Could it be the time that He endorses our journey, whatever it has been, and welcomes us home.  Could it be the time He says, Oh Kathy, all I have is yours.  Could it be the time that I must come to the end of myself and declare from the broken place of reality that I have only ONE home.  In this Lent season, not metaphorically but in reality, He is running off the porch to welcome us home.

Let the soul which God has breathed into us breathe after him; and let it be for him since it is from him.  Into his hands let us commit our spirits, for from his hands we had them.
(Matthew Henry)

Oh So Thirsty

One of the great joys of my life was living in Corpus Christi, Texas.  We lived there 12 years and experienced great joy and friendship.  We were blessed beyond measure.  Our lives were transformed.  Corpus Christi is gifted geographically and sits right on the Gulf of Mexico and one of its most beautiful spots is aptly named Ocean Drive.  Ocean Drive holds many, many memories for me.  One of the dearest though is the memory of sitting at the waters edge.  On many occasions I would phone a friend and ask her, "Can you meet me at the water?"  That one phrase told her all she needed to know and she would come.  There were days when the waves were so large that my car would easily be sprayed with the surf and there were days when all was calm and flat.  I learned that for my soul it really didn't matter which waves I experienced as it was ALL about the water...The moving, life-giving water.

We've been living in the desert for several weeks now.  And the desert of Lent has begun to teach me about my thirst.  It's helping me recognize how thirsty I really am.  The dry desert and hot sun force our thirst.  These are hard days.  Jesus must have been thirsty in those desert days.  Did Jesus need to go into the desert for 40 days?  Or did He go for me and you?  What was He modeling for us?

As I've read and reread the verses regarding Jesus entering the desert, I'm interested to read that Jesus went directly from his water baptism to the desert.
As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.  Matthew 3:16-4:1

Jesus came from his baptism where He experienced the Spirit of God descending on Him.  He experienced words of affirmation from His Father.  And then Jesus willingly walked, as led by the Spirit, into the desert.

I've been fooled into thinking that the journey of my life SHOULD BE desert-free.  I've been fooled into thinking that hot, desert days are those you keep hidden, those you keep buried deep inside.  BUT, the reality, according to these few verses is that as redeemed, newly washed Christ-followers we are to willingly follow the Spirit into the desert.  For it is in the desert, and for some ONLY in the desert, that God can refine us and remind us of our enormous need and His enormous ability to provide what we most desire.  And because I wear blinders most of the time it takes a desert experience for me to realize my great need.  The desert strips me down.  The desert makes me so very thirsty.

Regardless of success, I am thirsty. Regardless of my wonderful marriage, I am thirsty. Regardless of beautiful children, I am thirsty.  Regardless of plenty, I am thirsty.  What are the people, places and things vying to falsely quench my thirst?

Jesus modeled desert days for us.  He walked from Holy water into the desert--to defeating the enemy--to living a Holy life--to calling us to the Water.  He shows us that we will have many days that feel like the high desert.  Our job is to lean-in to those days and let Him lead and refine us.  And then, to drink deeply from His oasis...For there is always an oasis in the desert.  “Come!” Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life."  Rev. 22:17

Will you meet me at the water?

A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.

You, God, are my God,

    earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you,

    my whole being longs for you,

in a dry and parched land

    where there is no water.

Psalm 63

Seek But Wait

Thank you for your call.  All of our operators are busy with other customers right now but please wait someone will be right with you.  Your wait is...approximately 40 minutes.
Hello! AT&T...please just answer my call and with a live voice...please.

I don't wait well.  I like for the traffic to flow, for phones to be answered, for doctors appointments to be wait-less, and for my food order to be quickly forthcoming!  I tend to like now time not wait time.  And yet I find myself with you in 40 days of waiting.  Forty days of anticipation is lengthy for those like me.  What could God possibly want to say to me that takes 40 days of preparation?  Am I THAT messed up?? Or what exactly does He intend to do inside me in these 40 days?   Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the desert, where for forty days he was tempted by the devil. (Luke 4:1-2a).  There are no specific words about Jesus' activities within all these 40 days so I went Bible searching.  I was looking for times that Jesus went away to pray or times where we find Him earnestly seeking, for I believe that IS this Lent journey.

Let's take a look at Luke 9:28:36: [underlined words are my emphasis]

[Jesus] took Peter, John and James with him and went up onto a mountain to pray. As he was praying, the appearance of his face changed, and his clothes became as bright as a flash of lightning. Two men, Moses and Elijah, appeared in glorious splendor, talking with Jesus. They spoke about his departure, which he was about to bring to fulfillment at Jerusalem. Peter and his companions were very sleepy, but when they became fully awake, they saw his glory and the two men standing with him. As the men were leaving Jesus, Peter said to him, “Master, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.” (He did not know what he was saying.)
While he was speaking, a cloud appeared and covered them, and they were afraid as they entered the cloud. A voice came from the cloud, saying, “This is my Son, whom I have chosen; listen to him.” When the voice had spoken, they found that Jesus was alone. The disciples kept this to themselves and did not tell anyone at that time what they had seen.

This entire short passage screams at me regarding these Lent days.  In fact, I believe it offers me a way to live until Easter (and actually beyond).
Here are my bullet points:
•Jesus found alone time to pray
•His depth of prayer changed Him!  As we pray, do we sincerely and honestly get so deep into our prayer time that our faces literally change?
•His hope was heaven bound. As we talk with Him are we reminded that our time on earth is passing and that soon our location to a spiritual place will come?
•Peter, James and John became sleepy! In times of prayer do I become sleepy and uninterested when in reality my whole being longs to become fully awake and realize His Glory.
•Peter, James and John decided they should camp out!  Do I forget all else and just stay with Him?
•Peter, James and John were afraid.  As He speaks to me, am I so afraid that I cannot hear His words?  Or am I so afraid of His words that I choose to not hear?

Let's think of ourselves as Peter, James and John.  Jesus loved them so much He invited them to join Him on the mountaintop.  He wanted them to experience the full measure of who He was.  He didn't want them to be scared or feel unworthy or feel condemned....what did He want for them?  What does He want for you and me?  Why would He lead us into 40 days in the desert or a prayer time on the mountain?  Think about it......ponder it for yourself.  Give yourself time to think it through.....(I can wait)...

He created us for one purpose - relationship with Him.  He wants us to see Him, to experience His love and roll around in it.  So he calls us to the desert and to the mountaintop in hopes that we will leave all the worldly trappings behind and finally recognize Him.  In fact, He is dying for us to truly SEE Him.

In my own head I've been comparing this Lent season with the Christmas Season.  This is just a small bunny trail so stay with me!  Thanksgiving ends and we are thrust into the Christmas season, head first!  We anticipate and mostly our children anticipate!  Oh, what is under the tree, they squeal!  What gifts will we get?  Packages are shaken and taped boxes are gently prodded to reveal the contents underneath.  It is so very unnerving and exciting for little children.  Because they are "dying to see what gifts they will receive."

He's dying for us to see too!  Everyday of our lives, He's dying for me and you.  He's dying for us to know Him, He's dying for us to see His full Glory, He's dying for us to see ourselves only as He sees us.  That makes me want to run into the desert and wait and seek Him forever.

We can all walk into the desert and brag that we're there for the difficulty of achievement.  But there is more He says....stay a while....40 days...seek and wait.  Wait for gifts that are there just for you.

My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”

    Your face, Lord, I will seek.

Wait for the Lord;

    be strong and take heart

    and wait for the Lord.  Psalms 27:8,14

Wilderness Sand

Well....we are four days into the wilderness of Lent and I have already blown it!  In my quest to give God MORE of my time during Lent, to follow Him into the wilderness of contemplation, I also like to "give up" something during this season.  Thursday night I was attending a basketball game and my darling husband surprised me and bought peanut M&Ms to add to my popcorn snack. Now really, how can a loving wife reject such a thoughtful gesture even if sweets are off the menu of your life?  I didn't.  Restart!

Barely 48 hours later I found myself squarely in a more serious situation.  I found myself in a wilderness with a lot of uncomfortable sand in my shoes and a lot of negative voices in my head.  This Lent I have been determined to follow Jesus' steps into a wilderness place for growth and reflection.  But now that I'm in that wilderness sand, it hurts me and it stings and it is just so so uncomfortable that I don't believe I can continue walking.   I confess that I do not like this wilderness and oh my, the journey has just started.

Wednesday, I wrote these words:

"I'm scared to go into the wilderness with Him as I'm concerned about what He will find in me.  But yet...I'm excited that our time will be in secret, our words will be just between us.  He will lead me and will find me in this wilderness.  He will prepare me."

I truly believe those words, I AM scared of the wilderness.  It forces so many uncomfortable conversations and situations.  The uncomfortable sand in my shoes has continued throughout the nights and into the days.  The words have become quieter in my head but the residue remains.  My mood has been sullen, the rewind of damaging words, lost trust, confusion seems only one step ahead and behind me.

Where is Jesus in these days?  In real life, where is He?  Does this happen to you too?  Where is the joy in the tough times?  Where is the joy in the wilderness?

The joy for me often comes slowly but FINALLY I see....realizing that it was the Holy Spirit who led Jesus into the wilderness.  And it is also out of His Glory and by His Spirit that I am led into all the days of my life and that includes the wilderness.  For it is only in the wilderness that He can remake me.  It is only there that He can truly have all my attention.  It is only in the desert that he can mend my broken heart and my worries.  And the further joy is that Jesus has already walked this desert road.  He has gone before us.  And lastly, it is in this desert experience that we begin to talk earnestly with Him.  We seem to realize the urgent need for our quiet space in those times.....but when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen.  Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (Matthew 6:6)   Is there any better room than the room of wilderness?  I wonder why I keep resisting these parts of life?

1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”Psalm 91:1-2

Can we make this our prayer today?  Will you personalize it to yourself?
When I dwell in the shelter of God, I will rest in the shadow of Him.  I will say of my Lord, only He is my refuge and my fortress.  And it is God in whom I trust.

This is my path to joy in difficult desert places.  It is only through His Word.  The words of my friends, my husband, or even words to myself seem so shallow in the sands of the wilderness.  When Jesus was in His wilderness the quotes we have from Him are all from the Word....those are the words that sustained Him during the stress, the hunger, the hot days, and so much sand in His sandals.

Is it any different for us?

To Lent or Not to Lent

Last week, while in a local coffee shop I ran into an old friend.  After chatting a few seconds she
said, "I haven't seen your blog recently, are you still writing?"  Ugh, I gulped.  My quick response was, "Well, actually I have not written in a while but plan to start a Lent Blog....(hopeful I sounded all holy and like a real writer with goals and deadlines...).  My friend simply stared at me with confusion on her beautiful face. And added a very intelligent question, "Huh?",  she went on to express, "I don't understand or do Lent but I'd like to try."  Then I begin to try and explain Ash Wednesday and Lent....it didn't go real well. "On Ash Wednesday, you go to church and get ashes on your forehead representing dust to dust."  More staring.  I kept going, "Then, for the next 40 days you give up something you love until Easter....it's called fasting!  This practice is modeled after Jesus' 40 days in the desert.  This commitment shows your dedication to God and your willingness to well, give something up for Him."  She replied, "Um, I love my Diet Coke and can give that up but why does God need my Diet Coke.  I'm so confused", she said shaking her head.

Ugh....why can't I just run into people and have normal conversations?

Let's move on to another Lent conversation...What are you giving up for Lent?  This question will be asked often today and by many, many people.  Another, more private topic is, do you leave the ashes on your forehead or do you discreetly wipe them off when you get in your car?  Does God care?  By wiping the ashes off am I offending God; does this mean I am ashamed of Him or that I just don't want people staring at me in Publix?  I'm feeling so overwhelmed and confused myself.  

The rituals of Lent can be rule-driven but I know that was not the intent of the Church when Lent was first established.  So my choice at Lent is to look to Jesus.  Beginning in Matthew 3:16 we read this:

16 As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. 17 And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”  4:1Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. 2 After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.

Out of the glory of Jesus' baptism THEN he was led by the Spirit into the wilderness.  Yes, to be tempted and yes, after fasting He was then approached by the devil to be tempted but those are thoughts for future writings. 

Today is about: THEN He was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to get ready for the rest of life.  Today, we are being led into this season to get ready for the rest of our lives.  Instead of only giving up a silly soft drink or my beloved chocolate I'm choosing to be led secretly and privately to those places the Spirit wants to take me.  Even as we make decisions on what we'll 'give up' during Lent I'm choosing to GIVE Him more...More of my time and my attention.  I want the Spirit to have a chance to take me into the wilderness and prepare me for my life.  For there has been and will be pain in life, there will be temptation, there will be sadness, there will be joy......but none of it will ever surpass or defeat Him and His Glory.

I'm scared to go into the wilderness with Him as I'm concerned about what He will find in me.  But yet...I'm excited that our time will be in secret, our words will be just between us.  He will lead me and will find me in this wilderness.  He will prepare me.  He will prepare you.  Do we dare give up the trappings and ritual and just follow Him into the wilderness of our heart's desire?

“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.  But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.  Matthew 6:1.3-4

Will you DO Lent?  Let's secretly follow Him into the Lent of wilderness and expand our hearts.

Lent 2016

Wednesday our journey toward Easter begins.  Walk with me and bring some friends along side.  Pray that my words will be His words to us all.  Until tomorrow....